“I wish Google Maps had an ‘Avoid Ghetto’ routing option.”
Seriously! I remember looking at schools in Philadelphia. i had my GPS, and it tried to take us to 44th street. Very bad area.
“Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.”
..and then you keep arguing in hopes that the other person will give up first.
“Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you’re going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you’re crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.”
Yes! Why do we care so much?
“Is it just me, or are 80% of the people in the ‘people you may know’ feature on Facebook people that I do know, but I deliberately choose not to be friends with?”
I find myself clicking the little “x” that will make these people disappear. And doesn’t it always feel creepy when someone sends you a friend request and Facebook tells you “Sherry Fredster found you using People You May Know.”?
“Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn’t work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix the problem. Every kid in the U.S. did that, but how did we all know how to fix the problem? There was no Internet or message boards or FAQs. We just figured it out. Today’s kids are soft.”
How did we know that? How did we do so much before the Internet?
“There is a great need for sarcasm font.”
If you know me, you know how often I use sarcasm. So, hopefully, when we communicate electronically, you know when I’m being sarcastic. But it can take years to cultivate that relationship to where someone knows without being told that no, I wasn’t serious, I was using a sophisticated sense of humor (or, as someone on urbandictionary.com says, sarcasm is “used sometimes in order to belittle someone and make them seem stupid…or equally to amuse and impress them with your mind.” - you decide).I could avoid many miscommunication snafus if I had a sarcasm font.
“The only time I look forward to a red light is when I’m trying to finish a text.”
This is quite true, or when I'm going to try to read a text or take a drink.
“LOL has gone from meaning, ‘laugh out loud’ to ‘I have nothing else to say.’”
I think this captures why I’ve come to despise “LOL.” My best friend and I often discuss how much we hate “LOL” and are much more “haha” people. Who knew we could be categorized as such?
“I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.”
For years, I’ve told people, “When I’m bored, I either sleep or I eat.”
“Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a Scantron test is absolutely petrifying.”
There are three C’s in a row. That can’t be right. I must have answered one wrong! I'll second guess myself and agonize over the pattern that magically appeared.
“Whenever someone says ‘I’m not book smart, but I’m street smart,’ all I hear is ‘I’m not real smart, but I’m imaginary smart.’”
How true.
“How many times is it appropriate to say ‘What?’ before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear what they said?”
I'd put it at about 3.
“While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it….thanks Mario Kart.”
Mario changes lives.
“Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.”
Jeans especially get better with age--they get all soft and stretched out in the right places.
“Bad decisions make good stories.”
Oh, so true.
“Whenever I’m Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don’t mind if I do!”
“Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don’t want to have to restart my collection.”
Please, please, please…let’s join forces and resist any new technology so I don’t have to waste my money on some new format.
“I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Microsoft Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.”
Then you're stuck being paranoid that you lost a 23 hours of work, when in reality all you did was delete the extra spaces at the end of the document accidently.
“I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Ugh!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What’d you do after I didn’t answer? Drop the phone and run away?”
I have one friend I do this with constantly. I never understand how this actually happens! Ridiculously frustrating.
“I hate leaving my dorm confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.”
That just happened to me the other day.
“I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it’s on shuffle, then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.”
Exactly. Then, I just don’t want to hear classical music or the thousands of Bob Dylan songs I obtained because I saw him in concert or the Broadway showtunes that litter my playlists. Skip, skip, skip.
“Sometimes I’ll look down at my watch three consecutive times and still not know what time it is.”
How is that possible? I do it and I still don’t know.
“I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.”
How true is this?
“It really irritates me when I want to read a story on CNN.com and the link takes me to a video instead of text.”
I don't want to watch a video, if I wanted to watch a video I would have turned on CNN.
