Commando?

I should explain. My two best friends for the longest time were Army brats. Born and raised in various European countries, they learned "the Queen's English". Their conversation has a definite British twang to it, that I've learned to somewhat disregard. Even though it is faint, it still comes out at some of the most awkward times.

D, my male friend, and I were walking down the street one night after a cocktail reception for a music recital of his. I was wearing a dress, and he was of course dressed in a tux.
Here was the conversation that ensued.

D: It's a bit chilly tonight. Isn't it A?
Me: You think you're cold. At least you're wearing pants!

D, ever proper looked at me an turned a deep shade of burgundy (I've been told he can do this quickly because of his Irish heritage). I looked at him quizically, and he seemed to snap to reality.

Well, he explained to me, in England, pants are underwear...which are knickers, which are decidedly not trousers. In his mind, in the midst of children and drunken men I had just announced (rather loudly), that I was going commando. Which I wasn't.

Ah...wishful thinking much D? I think so. =)

Food For Thought

"But would you kindly ponder this question: What would your good do if
evil didn't exist, and what would the earth look like if all the shadows
disappeared? After all, shadows are cast by things and people. Here is the
shadow of my sword. But shadows also come from trees and living beings.
Do you want to strip the earth of all trees and living things just because
of your fantasy of enjoying naked light? You're stupid."
-Mikhail Bulgakov (Master and Margarita)

Happy Birthday to Me

Tidbits of Wisdom
(disclaimer: all learned in 2 decades)

1. You have no control over who you fall in love with
2. Sometimes the hardest thing and the right thing to do are the exact same thing
3. Live Love and Learn. Pass it on.
   
4. People are mortal. Memories are not.
5. Just because you live far far away doesn't mean you can't still love that person
6. An orgy isn't always what you think it is
7. Just when you think your life is bad, more shit hits the windshield
8. Conversely, when life is good, enjoy every minute of it
9. It is okay to break down
   
10. Don't do drugs.
    
11. Also, don't drink alcoholically. It's a nasty downward spiral
12. Insomnia is both a blessing and a curse
13. The most difficult thing to accept is the unknown
14. Patriots fans are annoying as shit
    
15. A friend is someone who cares about you, and likes you for who you are
16. Sometimes it's the words you don't say that matter the most
17. You decide what you want to be for the rest of your life
18. Walgreens is open later than Rite Aid
19. Photography shoots can be fun
    
20. Your first kiss with someone should give you butterflies, not heartache
    
21. Find something that makes you feel alive and do it often
22. Don't microwave soap
23. The title of "best friend" should not obscure the person behind it
    
24. Workaholics don't enjoy life to the fullest
25. Love sort of sneaks up and bites you on the ass when you least expect it
    
26. Skyping at 1am is one of the few ways to stop back spasms
    
27. Baby socks are adorable
28. Procrastination is not worth it. Especially when it comes to matters of health.
29. Even boys cry sometimes
    
30. Karma exists
31. I can no longer even smell beef Ramen
    
32. Develop a backup plan
33. Don't let people talk you into pole vaulting
    
34. Laughing during Romeo and Juliet is highly inappropriate and will not be tolerated by QV staff
    
35. Do what you love
    
36. You'll laugh at the stupid things down the road
    
37. Being proposed to isn't the end of the world
    
38. Wanting something doesn't mean it is the best thing for you
    
39. Never settle for anything less than the real thing
    
40. Bringing religion up in every conversation does not make you religious
    
41. Rock, Paper, Scissors can be a very fun game
    
42. Just because someone has a title doesn't mean they deserve it
    
43. Don't assume you will be the crazy cat lady
    
44. When you give up on me, it makes it that much harder to listen to you when you have a problem
    
45. Cops are looking to make quota at the end of the month, be careful driving
    
46. If you think he's gay, he probably is
    
47. Swine flu was a bad choice
    
48. Apparently I should be more confident (?)
    
49. There's only so much shit you should have to put up with
50. The male IQ drops about 40 points once they cross the threshold into Victoria's Secret
51. Music is a good way to connect with people
    
52. Sidney Crosby is a nice guy
53. You really don't know what you have until you almost lose it
    
54. Anthony Rapp is gay (aka having a crush on him is rather pointless)
    
55. Going to church often doesn't make you holier than thou
    
56. It is very possible to sleep in the middle half of the bed
    
57. Kissing someone in Disney doesn't mean you are dating in Pittsburgh (?)
    
58. You might be the world to someone and you'll never know
    
59. The best things in life are often the simplest
    
60. Forever seems like a long time, but it can be reached a day at a time
    
61. There is only so much you can do
    
62. Gunpowder can indeed be manufactured in a basement laboratory
    
63. Replacing the batteries makes it way better
    
64. Subtlety is overrated
    
65. Don't ask for an opinion unless you want an honest answer
    
66. A smile from you makes my day
    
67. Watching macho guys play with little animals or babies makes me melt
    
68. Familiarity is often comforting
    
69. The first goodbye is always the hardest
70. Give a guy a condom and he will have sex in a boxcar with a somewhat random girl
    
71. The middle of the night is a good time to think
    
72. Abuse is more common than you think, and it is easier to rationalize it the closer gets to you
    
73. Holding the one you love for the first time after a long time apart can bring tears of joy to your eyes
    
74. Live for moments of whimsy
    
75. Pretending to be someone you are not is stupid
    
76. Just being there for a friend is oftentimes the best thing you can do
    
77. Everyone needs a hug sometimes
    
78. There are things in your life that truly take your breath away
    
79. Girls night is frustrating for males
80. Sushi is interesting
    
81. We're all going to die anyway
    
82. Nutella fixes a lot of things
    
83. Understanding that you've outgrown a friendship takes maturity and courage
    
84. Performing on stage is just not my cup of tea
    
85. You can't hide forever
86. Loving someone makes you vulnerable
    
87. I am not the most graceful
    
88. Circus living is not all the media makes it out to be
    
89. I am top heavy
    
90. "Imagine there's no heaven"
    
91. Rice is rather difficult to make
    
92. Suicide is a move of despair
    
93. I cannot sing to save my life
    
94. During difficult times, your true friends will remain by your side
    
95. Having a nervous breakdown is not your fault
    
96. When the whole world stops when someone walks into a room, you've found the one
    
97. A dream is a wish your heart makes
    
98. Love indiscriminately and as fully as you dare
    
99. Never judge anyone until you've walked a mile or more in their shoes
    
100. You are who you are when no one else is looking
     

H. O. X.

Today i would like to talk about an epidemic that is affecting millions upon millions of women, myself included, worldwide. What is this epidemic you ask, its called H.O.X. or Hooked On X. he has ravishing good looks, a body that some say was chiseled by the gods, he can make the panties drop with just one look, women within a 3.14 mile radius swoon for him, and he can seduce anything, and i mean anything, whether it be a women, man, or animal. women everywhere want to have the sex on him! how does one man live with this burden? he takes it in stride and looks fabulous while doing it. now i bet you are wondering what some of the symptoms of H.O.X. are and do i have H.O.X.? symptoms are women can not control themselves when hes around and he causes temporary blindness, but don't fret for it is only natural and yes you do have it! now you are probably asking yourself is there a cure? no there is not. my advice to you is soak it up and enjoy it while it last because you will miss it whens its gone.

Religion- As Taken From A Discussion With R

I realized a few weekends ago
how many people actually listen to every word of the mass?
how many people know what transubstantiation is?
how many people recognize what they are doing beyond a 2nd grade level when they get communion?
I mean, yes, CCD is nice, but do people recognize the symbolism behind everything?

don't want to be afraid or humble
I want to stand up and be proud of what I did for others
and for the world as a whole

X never really goes to church
but
he believes
thats the sort of religion I want

I mean
don't get me wrong
god is great
god is good

I'm catholic
sorta
kinda
more humanitarian transcendentalism
because
I'm okay with abortion
and I also believe in gay marriage
quite strongly
and I love love love condoms
and let's not even get into premarital sex

Sign

One thing that’s become a big part of my life recently is learning sign language. I don’t know why this language has taken a hold of me so strongly. I think it’s partly because I’m expressive to begin with, and that is what that language calls for, but it’s also because it’s such a beautiful language. There are signs that describe the actual meaning of the words better than just spoken words ever could. Take “pity”. When you say “pity” in sign language, you keep your hands open, but only brush your middle fingers on your heart. You then take that movement from you heart to motion your hands to the person whom you feel pity for. Is there a better interpretation of pity? Sign language is an expression of a language that hearing people can’t understand until they watch someone talk in sign. It’s almost a dance, a dance of our usual lives, just made much more expressive and beautiful. I don’t know, I guess it’s also because the deaf community is looked on as stupid, “dumb”, can’t understand anything. But sadly, they can see things that are wrong with the world much better, because they don’t have to listen for it, they only see. And how can we truly see when we are so deafened by sound?

I encourage all of you to watch this video, because it simbolizes what I feel about sign language. The deaf community do not necessarily want to hear, but they do want the world to change it's views that THEY ARE NOT DUMB!

Go to http://dpan.com/
Click on VIDEOS in the upper left corner
Go down to the third video entitled "Waiting on the World to Change"

How To Make An Allison

Ingredients:

1 shot of sarcasm
1/2 a cup of uniqueness
a dash of intelligence
Season to taste with humor, wit, and passion


Add to cocktail shaker and mix vigorously. Serve in a chilled fashion.
Do not over indulge.

*Drink Responsiblity